Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize