why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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