You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
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