I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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