He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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