dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
My vagina just recognized that song.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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