i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
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Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
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Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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