So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
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Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
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A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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