i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize