Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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