I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
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His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
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I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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