never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
