I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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