Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
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I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She bit a glass in half.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
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