i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize