I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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