He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize