K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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