So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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