hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize