I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize