I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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