My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize