I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize