so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize