Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize