4 words: hood of his car
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
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Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
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Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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