The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Randomize