i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize