I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize