Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So. Much. Porn.
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