Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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