Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize