I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize