i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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