New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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