Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize