and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You can't special order awesome
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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