There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize