WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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