Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You should frame my arrest warrant.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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