Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize