you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize