last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize