wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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