Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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