is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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