onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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