Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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