be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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